(Thelma)
Well I am just about to burst to tell some of my side of this story...
I did meet Louise when I was 15. I did give her the "LOOK"! The look like I wanted to squeeze her or something? At the time I didn't understand what it was that I really wanted to do? I was so young and afraid of what I was feeling. Afraid of being disowned by my friends. I was in the least frustrated because I really wanted to act upon those feelings of desire for her that was stirring inside of me. Plus there was always someone with us and I couldn't seemed to ever get her alone.
Well, time went on and she moved away. We went in our own directions, not knowing or understanding what it was we were feeling for each other. I did finally "come out" eventually but my Louise was gone. I had dated women throughout my life and even lived with someone for close to 7 years. I got seriously injured on my job which resulted in changes in my life that sent her into the arms of someone else. I was hurt and it was over. Also, along about the same time that all of that happened my dad was murdered, shot twice in the chest and twice in the head, by a 21 year old guy who was on drugs. This devastated me.
During all of my "out" life, my mom stayed on my back constantly, saying that because I was gay, I was going to hell. The pressure got so bad that I finally gave in to her and married a guy. I was in this marriage for 8 long years. I was so unhappy and miserable. I knew this wasn't my place..my home. More to come.......
Thelma
Well I am just about to burst to tell some of my side of this story...
I did meet Louise when I was 15. I did give her the "LOOK"! The look like I wanted to squeeze her or something? At the time I didn't understand what it was that I really wanted to do? I was so young and afraid of what I was feeling. Afraid of being disowned by my friends. I was in the least frustrated because I really wanted to act upon those feelings of desire for her that was stirring inside of me. Plus there was always someone with us and I couldn't seemed to ever get her alone.
Well, time went on and she moved away. We went in our own directions, not knowing or understanding what it was we were feeling for each other. I did finally "come out" eventually but my Louise was gone. I had dated women throughout my life and even lived with someone for close to 7 years. I got seriously injured on my job which resulted in changes in my life that sent her into the arms of someone else. I was hurt and it was over. Also, along about the same time that all of that happened my dad was murdered, shot twice in the chest and twice in the head, by a 21 year old guy who was on drugs. This devastated me.
During all of my "out" life, my mom stayed on my back constantly, saying that because I was gay, I was going to hell. The pressure got so bad that I finally gave in to her and married a guy. I was in this marriage for 8 long years. I was so unhappy and miserable. I knew this wasn't my place..my home. More to come.......
Thelma
First, let me say how sorry I am to hear what happened to your dad. I can't even imagine how you learn to live with that. I'm also sorry that your mom didn't realize or understand who you were. I am glad the two of you found each other again after all these years and are happy.
ReplyDeleteI love that you are both sharing your stories with us. Big (hugs) to both of you.
Linda~
Aloha, Thelma;
ReplyDeleteSorry you had to go through all that; you must be a remarkable woman. Clearly Louise thinks so ;-)
The story of "Girly Ranch" is so good that it would be a great book or movie!
What happened then?!!!!!!
Warmly,
Comfort Spiral
Hi Thelma..... sorry to hear about you Dad. That was awful & I hope they got the person that did it. Not that it would make you feel better but at least it would take him out of the public.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear your Mum didn't support you. Must have been really confusing & hurtful, feeling as you did.A forced marriage must have been terrible.
You know, you do have enough already to make a great book!
Looking forward to the next episode!
What a terrible thing to have happened to your father! I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm sorry the lack of support from your Mom resulted in you marrying someone you couldn't be happy with. Now I'm happy to hear you're with Louise and where you belong. :)
ReplyDeleteI don't know how you endured everything you endured during those years, my love. It was almost more than you could bear, I know, and it left deep scars. But you stood it - somehow - and here we are.
ReplyDeleteI'm constantly amazed that 30 years apart never lessened my feelings for you, never took any of it away. Instead, it is stronger than ever. I can't wait to read your next installment, my wonderful darling.
Love, Louise
PS Thelma & Louise please stop by my place tomorrow there's a little something for you. :)
ReplyDelete